Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Three Not So Christmassy Christmas Movies For Your Holiday Enjoyment

I'm thinking outside the box here folks. I do love the classics like anyone else: It's A Wonderful Life, Miracle On 34th Street, A Christmas Story, Scrooged... but we've all seen those, what, 257 times? So here are my holiday recommendations, and they may be a bit off the beaten path as far as Christmas movies go, however they are arguably just Christmassy enough to be considered Christmas movies.

First off, Bad Santa starring Billy Bob Thornton. It's probably the most Christmassy of my three recommendations, however, if you have kids, DO NOT LET THEM SEE THIS MOVIE!!! Why? Well, in case you didn't know already, it's titled Bad Santa for a reason, IT'S BAD. Not only is it bad, it's dirty. I think I've seen this film three times and every time I see it, I laugh even harder at the dialogue. The things that Billy Bob says, zoinks! It's a dark comedy about a depressed drunk who dresses up as Santa Claus every year in order to stake-out and eventually, with his midget friend who plays Santa's elf, burglarize the shopping center they are working in. Along the way, he ends up homeless and befriends a lonely young boy who actually believes Billy Bob's character is Santa Claus. Beneath all the stench and debauchery, there is a layer of morality to Bad Santa that reeks of the Christmas spirit and gives us that warm fuzzy feeling inside. ‘Tripods up!'

You may totally disagree with me on the next two movies as being Christmas movies, but hey, it's my blog and I can do whatever I want. Lethal Weapon. Yeah that's right, I just went there. Not a Christmas movie??? I beg to differ. I mean, the film starts out to the tune of Jingle Bell Rock as we fly over Los Angeles and watch as a coke whore jumps several dozen stories to her death from a high-rise balcony. I mean what more do you want? Did I mention that maybe these recommendations should be for adults only? I'll do that now . . .

MY THREE RECOMMENDATIONS ARE FOR ADULTS ONLY! So there.

Where was I, oh yeah, Lethal Weapon . . . a Christmas movie? Hey, there is a Christmas tree in it, and it even gets smashed up by a police car! It takes place on or around Christmas. There, I proved my point. So, not only is Lethal Weapon a great Christmas movie, but it's also one of the best buddy movies ever made. Mel Gibson plays a suicidal drunk cop (starting to see a theme here) who's down and out due to the recent death of his beloved wife. How sad. He is transferred to a Los Angeles police station where he meets Danny Glover's character, and they become partners. The chemistry between Gibson and Glover is priceless, but why am I telling you this? Chances are you've already seen Lethal Weapon, but have you watched it as a Christmas movie with Christmas eyes? Didn't think so. Okay, enough of Lethal Weapon, I give it a ‘Tripods Up!' Let's move onto my third and final film recommendation for the Christmas holidays.

Die Hard. Yep, I said it. Police officer John McClane (Bruce Willis) arrives in Los Angeles after recently separating with his wife who left him in New York for a new job. He's also going to visit his old police captain, because it's his birthday or something like that, who really cares? None of this even matters, because before you know it, terrorists take over his wife's Christmas party at the Nakatomi Plaza, and it is up to him, John McClane, to save the lives of many, many innocent people. Not only is this the best action film ever made, with the best bad guys ever conceived for a film, and another great buddy picture, but it also takes place on Christmas Eve, hence, it's a Christmas movie. A Christmas tree falls over in this one too! I give Die Hard a ‘Tripods Way The Hell Up!' It is one of my favorite movies and a damn fine Christmas experience.

Well then, there you have it, three Christmas movies for you to enjoy without the kids. Not that you have kids, I mean, you might not have kids. Who am I to assume you do have kids? It's not my problem.All films rated by Preston Mullins range from; Tripods Way The Hell Up! (being the best rating,) Tripods Up, Tripods Sideways, Tripods Down, and Tripods Way The Hell Down being the very worst rating.)

No comments: